Through the Storm: Finding Resilience and Gratitude in the Wake of a Tornado
It's been a long time since I've posted. 2024 was a literal whirlwind that has shaken my life, and my family's life. Before you correct me and say "Clarissa, you just used 'literal' incorrectly, you didn't actually experience a true whirlwind", just know that I did use the term intentionally. Here's why...
The "Whirlwind" of 2024
On March 14th 2024, a tornado hit my family’s home. My son and I were home at the time. Thankfully we took cover in the basement when the tornado sirens started, and we were all safe. Six months later we began our move back into our home.
When the sirens started, right after bedtime, my son and I grabbed some blankets and the dog and headed to the basement. Our dog was acting a little odd, but we didn’t think much of it at the time. We laid down on an old toddler mattress on the basement floor and sent a selfie to my husband. Tornado warnings and sirens aren’t an uncommon thing in central Ohio, so we weren’t worried. Soon after sending the selfie to my husband, we could hear what sounded like hail hitting the house. Then our dog started carefully walking up the basement stairs. We called her back down, and just then, the sound of the storm changed.
Instinctively I dove over top of my son, creating a protective barrier between him and whatever was going to happen. My son was in hysterics. Repeatedly saying he didn’t want to die. Praying that God would keep us safe. While it seemed like this moment lasted hours, it was likely a few minutes or less. His prayers worked. When the sound outside returned to that of a regular storm, I immediately knew a tornado had hit our home. Surprisingly the lights stayed on up until this point. Then my husband called to make sure we were okay. Physically we were fine. Then the electricity went out. Being in the basement in Ohio, and raised in Pennsylvania where sump pumps weren’t really a thing, I immediately went to hook up our battery backup sump pump, with my husband taking me through step-by-step over the iPhone. Just as I was about to connect the backup pump to the battery, the smoke detectors started sounding the alarm.
My brain switched to “shit, if the house is on fire, then we need to get out”. So I quickly ascended the stairs to the first floor. When I opened the door from the basement to the kitchen, it was raining in my kitchen. I paused for what was probably way too long, processing what I was seeing and hearing. Water pouring in from the ceiling of my kitchen. Now this is a two story home with the kitchen on the first floor, so my brain was struggling to comprehend how it was raining inside, let alone on the first floor.
The sound of all the smoke detectors beeping quickly brought me back to reality. I yelled down to my son that we needed to get out of the house. I grabbed our dog’s leash. As my son and dog entered the kitchen, I told my son to get his shoes on while I leashed our dog. I called our neighbors and asked if they were okay. When they said yes, I asked if we could come over, explaining that our house was hit. Of course they said yes. (We are blessed with the best neighbors ever.) I opened the door to the garage and saw a bunch of stuff where it shouldn’t be. It was dark so I couldn’t tell what it all was, but there were things on the floor of the garage where there shouldn’t be anything. With the electricity still not on, I couldn’t open the garage door to get our car out. (Hindsight is 20/20, and afterward I was informed that I could have used the emergency release and manually lifted the door open, but that thought didn’t come to me in that chaotic moment.) So we ran to the front door and opened it. I explained to my son that he was to run to the neighbors house and get inside and go to the basement. I said I would get our dog there, but he was to get to the neighbors house without looking back. So we ran. Not the ideal choice since it was still storming, but staying in the house wasn’t an option. At the bottom of the front porch steps a downed tree blocked our way. We climbed over it, me coaxing the dog too. Then we sprinted across the yard, splashing through huge puddles and dodging downed tree branches. Our neighbors were manning the front door, waiting for our arrival. They ushered us in and guided us to the basement.
My son was in shock (we probably both were, but my sole focus was on him). He kept saying how sad he was that the house was damaged and that he had so many memories in it. I assured him it would be fixed. My husband called again, on his way home as quickly as possible. I remember him saying, after I explained that it was raining in the kitchen, that he would probably have to replace a window. I remember telling him, “honey, I think you need to prepare yourself for a bit more damage than that.” I was imagining a giant tree crushing the roof of the house at this point.
My husband made it home a few minutes later. At the same time, the tornado warning was lifted and the tornado sirens silenced. I asked my neighbors to stay with my son as I ran back over to the house to meet my husband and survey the damage. He was already in the house when I arrived. It was still raining in the kitchen and the living room on the first floor. I think the smoke alarms were silent at that time. I found my husband upstairs in the master bedroom (it was also raining in the upstairs hallway) saying that he could see the sky from our master closet. You shouldn’t be able to see the sky from our closet. There are no windows or skylights. Thanks to the tornado, we now had a clear view of the stormy, raining, night sky from our closet. A big chunk of our roof was missing.
He asked me if I had called the fire department. No, I hadn’t. We were all physically okay. It turns out there wasn’t a fire. I guess the smoke alarms went off because they were getting soaked from the rain pouring in through what used to be our roof. This didn’t classify as an emergency, did it? Wait a minute… a tornado hit our home and tore part of the roof off. There was rain flooding in from the hole in the roof, drenching our belongings, our home, our electric wiring in the walls. Yes, I suppose this was an emergency. So I called the fire department. They told me to call 911. So I did. I explained the situation. They asked me to estimate the cost of the damage. I had no idea how to answer that. I assumed he was just talking about the cost to repair the roof. We had just gotten it replaced a few years ago. That total replacement cost x dollars, and this was just part of the roof that was missing, so it was y% of $x… what was x to begin with. I handed the phone to my husband. He rattled off some number. I didn’t understand at the time, but apparently his brain was functioning on all cylinders, and he was able to see that the damage was more than just the roof.
Turns out pretty much everything was damaged from the water that was still entering the house. My brain was functioning on half a cylinder at best at that time. Realizing that we needed a place to stay that night (it was now about 10:30 pm), my husband searched for a pet friendly hotel with vacancy, and I quickly grabbed pajamas and clothes for my son and husband, as well as our work computers and some Legos and a lovie for my son. We threw those things into my car (my husband used the emergency release for the garage door and lifted the door so I could get my car out) and went back to the neighbors house (driving this time) to get my son and dog.
I took them to the hotel, which was about 25 minutes from our home. My husband stayed at the house, sleeping in the car parked in the driveway so he could keep an eye on things. My son and I walked into the hotel lobby, in our pajamas, completely soaked. With our dog in tow. I can’t imagine what went through the front desk associate’s mind when we walked in. We must have looked like we had just gone through hell. I mean, we essentially did. He said he noticed we just placed our reservation shortly before we arrived and asked if we were okay. I explained what happened. He expressed his sympathies and upgraded us to a two bedroom suite knowing we would be staying there for more than one night. I thanked him, and we made our way to our room. Once I got my son and dog settled for the night (it was midnight or later), including dry pajamas, I remember sending a message to my leaders from work and telling them I wouldn’t be logging in the next day and briefly why. Then I snuggled in with my son and tried to sleep.
The next morning I read a message from both of my leaders expressing their concern for my family and me. I was scheduled to fly to New York that Sunday to host a strategic planning session, and my leaders told me they could help with cancelling my travel. At first, I insisted I could still make the trip work, but after I thought about it further, I realized my family didn't have a stable place to live at the moment (the hotel was a very short-term solution). So I thanked my leaders and asked for help in cancelling the travel. Again, I clearly wasn't at my best. (After some therapy sessions, I learned that I was in shock and dealing with trauma. That certainly explains why I was acting the way I was.)
We spent the weekend walking through the house with our insurance agent and contractors. They were assessing the damage and determining a plan. I was just trying to process what had happened. I remember one of the contractors asking whether I liked shaker-style cabinets for my kitchen, and thinking (or maybe I even said it aloud) "what the heck are shaker cabinets?" I couldn't possibly make decisions about the future design of my kitchen. I hadn't even fully processed the extent of the damage or found a suitable living situation for my family.
The next week, my son was back at school. Each day husband worked from the hotel room, while I drove my son 25 minutes to our house so he could catch the bus. Once he was safely on the bus, I drove to a local coffee shop and set up my laptop for the day. I worked from the coffee shop, and when it was time to get my son off the bus, I would get him off the bus and drive back to the hotel, where I finished out my workday. In the evenings, I searched for homes and apartments for rent in my son's school district, setting up appointments for viable housing candidates. Thankfully an apartment complex near my son's school had some immediate openings. I took time off of work to tour the apartments and sign the lease. We moved in that Friday.
Since most of our belongings were lost in the storm (water damage, and mold grows quickly), we rented mostly everything in the apartment--from a couch, a table and chairs, to plates, utensils, and towels. My son's hockey teammates pulled together and brought him some toys and books and gift cards for us to begin rebuilding. Again, we are so blessed with the people in our lives. My bestie spent the next weekend with me going through belongings in the house and determining which could be salvaged and which could not, taking pictures of everything for the insurance claim. This was no small feat, as we ended up with hundreds, if not thousands, of pictures to upload to the claim portal. I could never have gotten through that without her help and guidance. Two of my other friends (and one brought his dad) helped move salvageable furniture from the house into storage pods that were set up in our driveway. Again, we couldn't have done this without them. These things all needed to be done so the water remediation team could get started ripping out walls, floors, and ceilings and remediating any mold that had started growing (and preventing any further mold growth).
The months that followed were a blur. There is a lot I don't remember from this year - likely a trauma response. There is a lot that I do remember and wish I didn't, like every subsequent tornado warning that had my son and I in a panic, or the brief moment of feeling utter dread each Wednesday at noon when the tornado sirens were routinely tested, or having a meltdown at the smallest inconveniences and acting totally out of character as I worked through the trauma. I wouldn't wish this experience on anyone. Ever.
But the experience also opened my eyes to some really awesome things. Like the people in my life that stepped up to help without hesitation, the resilience my son exhibited as he quickly settled into a new living situation, and settling back into our home before the holiday season began.
A time for reflection
The silver lining of all of this was insight into how blessed my family and I are, specifically with the people who have come into our lives. My heart still feels so full, and tears burn my eyes when I think about how these incredible people stepped in and saved the day:
My neighbors, who took us in in the middle of a tornado and kept us safe while our home could no longer protect us
My bestie, who went through every single article of clothing, every single toy, every single personal belonging and helped us catalog the items we lost
My husband, who encouraged me to seek therapy/counseling for the trauma I experienced
My two friends, who came prepared for a full day of hard physical labor to help us get our heavy belongings out of the house, and his dad who came to help too
My parents, who helped move everything back into the house from the storage pods, helped clean everything off, and helped put things where they belonged so we could start getting back to a "normal" life
My brand new leaders and co-workers, who gave me grace that I couldn't give myself and helped this new-kid-on-the-block see that they truly cared about me as a person, not just the work I produce
Everyone who sent a card, gift cards, and called to make sure we were okay
Don't wait for a traumatic experience to trigger you to reflect. Please take a few minutes today to reflect on the people who have made a difference in your life. This is just my example, and it's focused on a single (albeit life-altering) event. There are many other examples where I've experienced people making a significantly positive impact on my life this year, but maybe that's a post for another day. Regardless, please take some time to reflect on the "ups" you've experienced in the past year, even if they came in the midst of a "down".